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For anyone that has been to the site and wondered why doesn't it seem like anything is happening or changing. The truth is, I had to take a much needed break. For the past 11 years I’ve been very driven, very focused and paddling like a mad dog to my destination. At the end of December I began experiencing some really big changes that I couldn’t quite understand. What I’ve been going through and experiencing, as I am aware many people are, is “the shift”. Progressively I’ve been getting to a point of “feeling blank”. At first this scared the crap out of me but now I’m clear it’s the process of the shift.. of unplugging from the old matrix into the new matrix.
The shift I’m experiencing is huge and I’m just now really feeling the effects of it. I really am not who I was or who I even thought I was. I’ve done some very serious and deep introspection over the last couple of months and especially over the last couple of weeks. I’ve had to ask some really important questions.. and the answers have been very surprising.
Here’s what I know… who I thought I was and what I thought I was supposed to do in life may very well not be me at all. And, as I write this sentence for the first time I actually feel great about that!
I gave up these things: Trying to get somewhere, leaving a legacy, being “someone”, being a figure-head, being a multi-millionaire, saving people.. to name a few. Just to clarify.. this is not resignation. By letting go I can give up any expectation. The best thing that Kathy Sawers taught me when she was here is a couple of questions that she posed to me: “What is left when you give up any expectation?”, “What is left when you give up any judgment?”…. And, the answer she revealed to me is, “Gratitude”.
I don’t think I’ve ever felt so free in my life. Now “feeling blank” doesn’t feel so bad… in fact, it’s feeling pretty great. And, as Kathy says, “How does it get any better than this?!”. So, what is next? Well, when you can get to nothing and are a blank canvase then anything and everything is possible! I'm exploring what I really would like to do with the SOHS site and what's next for her (the business is a she - hee hee). To be continued... Is there anything you need to give up in order to be free?
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